Marc Pro - Strava

Cycling Team

Next person who emails me and says I need a prof reader gets kicked in the head!

Shesh, its called artistic expression.

This is a quick post because I have huge papers to write, and since I keep getting beat I think I will start training.

Last week was Cat's Hill, great race, hard course, we had a good time.  Its your basic "L" shaped course with a wall that has a pretty big crowd, all cheering you on, while at the same time hoping something bad happens to you.

Joe an I walked the course, pointed out cracks.  Noted possible great attack spots.  Discussed where on the course what was going to happen.  Of course, not one single thing we thought would happen happened.   Got dressed, drank a protein shake and warmed up with Joe, Keith and Donald from Marc Pro - Strava.

We found this long hill to warm up on that was a completely canopy of trees.  It was scenic.  I was leading on the fast decent when I thought I saw a car.  I yelled as loud as I could "CAR UP!", but it turned out to be a couple of Mike's guys on their way up.  I think I scarred the hell out of them when I yelled because they totally jumped, and Kieth nearly slid out in their piss.  We all got back in time to keep rolling around until we got called to the line.

Back East I got used to always being called up.  Here, in California, my home state - it never happens.  I was thinking this may be my chance.  I've won a few races, I am in the mix for the NCNCA BAR, and the NCNCA Premier Series.  I've also caused a bit of ruckus on the internet.  This is my chance!

Sure enough, the announcer says something like "this older rider...."

oh yeah its gonna be me!

"..blah...blah...Steve Pelaez!"

damn, not me

"This rider who has won...."

come on, name something I've won..

"blah...blah...blah..James LeBerge!"

OK, I should be soon..

"this rider who has pissed people off in his blog.."

I click in and start to go forward

"Rand Miller"

Ugh.  Why is he still getting call ups?

"From Marc Pro-Strava... (auto correct wants to change Pro-Strava to Prostrate)

Finally its me!

"Kieth Hillier!"

OK, now they are messing with me.

but then, to my amazement, they start calling up guys by just describing them

"Here is a rider wearing pink hello kitty socks"


"Benjamin Swedberg!"

Wait, how the hell is anyone else wearing pink hello kitty socks!?! What are the chances of that?  Apparently 100%

and then finally it was really my turn

"and now, for the rest of the field!"

Next to me at the start, Steve Pelaez wore a Darth Vader Costume over his Mike's bikes kit in reference to my last blog.  He is a real sport and a lot of fun!

Last time I did Cat's Hill, I remember thinking I was going to die the whole time.  You hit the hill, everyone sprints up it like its the last lap, guys attack the rollers, guys explode left and right and you try and come around them, guys dive the decent and white knuckle the turn and then put it into the gutter down the start finish.  Balls to the wall.  A beat down.  Just finishing is a win.

But not this year.

It was pretty tame.  I think the best attack of the day came from a Specialized Junior (his name and a photo would be cool here).  I honestly wanted him to pull off something amazing, but the field wasn't let anyone go anywhere.  I tried a few times, but didn't even come close to the kids distance.

Then it happened.  I think there was like eight laps to go.  We are climbing up the steep part and the guy next to me has a chain skip or something, but his butt slams my right brake lever, I bump the guy on my left, somehow my lever turns in, my bike suddenly stops, I somehow leap frog my bike (possibly tagging my junk in the process), I land on my butt (so hard I may not be able to sit normal for a while, and miraculously keep my bike upright.  I jump to my feet, still holding my bike with one hand debating which hurts more, my junk or my trunk, so I cant decide which part to grab.  I just op for the middle.  Some guy yells "want me to hold your bike?", then I realize, the whole crowd on the hill is watching me.

I re-straddled my bike, bent my lever back, and rode down the sidewalk on the hill and went to the pit.  I could never do that again if I tried.  I wasn't sure if I tore my shorts when I hit the ground, so without thinking it through I asked someone there "is there a hole in my butt?"

He said "I should certainly hope so!"

The rest of the race went without incident, until Tyler Brandt from Mike's took a flyer and caught some guys dangling off the front.  It looked pretty serous, and I thought he was going to do it, but he got reeled in with a few to go.  I was certain he was done and I thought 'cool, that's one good rider out of contention.'

The final lap was the most interesting.  Seemed like everyone was too scared to go to the front until the hill, then Roman from Kenda drilled it over the top.  The whole time this was happening I could here James Leberge barking orders to his guys and the two Cal Giant boys Benny and Jared moved up to the front.  The four of us kind of floated in a bubble behind Roman who tore us off the front of the field on the flat part of the top and then down the decent towards the final right turn.  In my inability to accept that James is just way faster than I am sprinting, I decided he is just braver, or has way bigger balls.  For that, he gets this weeks "Big Balled Chipmunk Award", and like the leaders yellow jersey, his team gets their logo on the front.   James, with no teammates, manhandled the hard right turn, squeezed by Roman and held it to the line.  Nice, but I am beginning to be sick of him winning.  I think he is ready to travel outside of NCNCA and do the big pro races.   Today. I think that the rider who bunny hopped the crashing world champion in one of the opening stages of the Giro would deserve three "Big Balled Chipmunk Awards"


After James slipped by, the two Cal Giant boys slipped by and then, after patiently waiting my turn, I went by and tried my best to make up ground.  I crossed the line close enough to the Cal Giant boys that the announcer said I was 2nd, but it was all so close and I ended up 4th.  James won in fantastic style, whipping his head back and doing his best Jesus Christ Super Star pose.

Tyler impressively recovered from his attack and got 5th.

Video from the Cat's hill web site.  Good stuff.  Pro 1/2 at the end.

More about author and team member CHUCK HUTCHESON. The baby named Chuck was born in Seattle on a dark, cloudy, and rainy day. Upon his arrival, the doctor held him up and a burst of light broke through the clouds and shown upon baby Chuck's head. Although the bright light of the sun caused baby Chuck to squint he smiled as he heard an infinite number of angels sing in unison.

Read all 25 Blog Posts by Chuck Hutcheson

Reader Comments (3)

For some reason it's alwasy people that don't write that bitch about spelling and grammer. "Big Balls" could be a name that sticks for laberge.. that or chipmunk.

May 9 2012

Hellyer says...

You forgot a parenthasis in your tenth paragraph. Just saying haha

May 9 2012

Professor says...

Damn Chuck, another great blog. I hate when people write LOL when they are actually stone faced, but as I read this thing I was just laughing like crazy. super fun read, humble, respectful, funny, clever. But one suggestion. Have you considered spell check? Ha Ha.

May 10 2012

Macpaulster says...

Leave a Comment

Your e-mail will not be shown. Use the email address that matches your free, universally recognized Gravatar account to have your avatar shown. Some HTML code is allowed.