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Cycling Team

This is probably the most technical criterium course in California, possibly the nation.  It is .6 miles, has six left hand turns, thre right, a stream crossing, a squerril crossing and a lopp to loop.  Completing one lap is considered a victory.

Winners of this race sit for hours, suronded by adoring fans who hang on every word of their war stories, like, Pat Briggs (I walked in on the middle of this so its incomplete) "so I tell him 'I'm not going to chase, that's your problem', so you know he is f'd and then I ..."

Even with the crazy technical course, it always ends in a field sprint, so everyone thinks they are a sprinter, or more particularly, they all think they are Cippolini.

I guess the common theme here is that nobody seems to wear their helmet riding around the race site.  Maybe the officials don't care like they used too?

Anyway, after the beating I got yesterday at Mt Hamilton, I was hoping to have a better race and crush some souls and maybe eat someones face naked while they are still alive (like in Miami).  Pretty much all the teams were represented at the line (as Hernando pointed out).  The almighty chasser downers - Fremont Bank, Mikes Bikes "A" team, Cal Giants "A" Team, Cal Giants "B" Team (Rand Miller), Myself and fellow teammates Joe and Nick.  Hernando also pointed out that Mikes had won a substantial amount of races..and..blah blah blah

Normally a crit report starts something like "from the gun there were attacks...", but not this one.  From the gun there was a headwinsd and we all went hella slow. It was very easy to sit in.  In fact it was so easy that I was able to open several packs of gummi bears and not have them explode like a bag of chips.

At one point I did attack.  Rand Miller came with me and so did my Butt Pimple for the day (Tyler Brandt).  We all roatated pretty hard, but went nowhere.  It was definatly one of the hardest laps in a crit I have done, and I thought since all the stronger teams were represented it may work, but the almighty chassers down realed us back in.  I went again latter with my Butt Pimple, but we it wasn't going to happen.  Realizing a break was not going to stick, I contently began eating my gummi bears and waited for the sprint.

While I was coasting along in the group, I accidently dropped a green gummi bear.  For the next two laps I watched it lay there on the ground as racers tires wizzed by its poor little head.  I think Dave McCook must have seen it too.  Dave shoot to the front right of the field, the swung left across the front of the field (as if he was going to do a U turn) and braked!  It was amazing to see what he was willing to do to try and get back to that gummi bear before I did.  With all of his years of experience, I be he had the ability to pick that gummi bear up while riding!  His effort to try and retrieve the gummi bear pissed off pretty much everyone in the field.

With the Gummi Bear incident fresh in everyones minds, we set up for a kind of tense field spint with about two laps to go.  Mikes were leading out Mikes, Cal Giant Cal Giant, McGuire was leading out McGuire, and Chuck was leading out Chuck.  Things got a little mixed up for a while too, but in the end Mikes ended up getting organized again and led Jame LeBerrge out for the win and Tyler for 2nd.  Marteeeen from McGuire got 3rd and I got 4th.

I had all of these great photoshop plans, but summerschool started today, so no time.  Here is the finish

and the podium

compare that to yesterday's podium....

Notice that I need a podium girdle for my pot belly, a podium hat for my old wrinkled forhead.  Also notice the placement of John Piasta's soft, but firm hand.  Phot from Thomas Preisler.
More about author and team member CHUCK HUTCHESON. The baby named Chuck was born in Seattle on a dark, cloudy, and rainy day. Upon his arrival, the doctor held him up and a burst of light broke through the clouds and shown upon baby Chuck's head. Although the bright light of the sun caused baby Chuck to squint he smiled as he heard an infinite number of angels sing in unison.

Read all 25 Blog Posts by Chuck Hutcheson

Reader Comments (1)

Nice work with the "Congo" caption. My mother makes the best brisket. I thought no one else remembered that gem. Awesome

May 29 2012

Dave says...

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